Velveteen!

Guts

2012-02-06T10:25:00.002-05:00

Guts, always trust them folks. Always.

My Sunday started out lazy, in the kitchen focused on the eggs in my pan. Don't cook them too long, make them soft.

Potatoes, sausage, then spinach at the last minute. Everything just right.

I had just finished taking pictures of my creation

And pictures of my boy, being...my boy and eating his sammie.

When behind me in the kitchen...

"Mommy, I'm very very cold."

Day changer, that statement.

I turned to find a wobbly, shivering little boy with the look of absolute fear in his eyes. This from a child who rarely seems scared of anything. By the time I walked the five steps to scoop him up, he was shaking so badly he couldn't hold his own weight, and was burning up.

Temperature = 104

Then the vomming. Oh sweet Lord above us, the vom. I saw the grapes, the yogurt, the "tuhkee n cheese on curcul bwead" he requested for brunch. People, I saw it all. I can't imagine being 3 and your whole body betraying you, without any clue as to what teh feck was happening. It was awful enough to watch.

So, to the ER we went. This was not normal, this was not my boy. Sure, he's an asthmatic, he horks when he coughs too hard in the middle of an attack, but this was different. He was listless, frail, and (here's where it got super bad) um, hallucinating? He was talking to people that weren't in the room, saying things that didn't make sense.

The rest is a blur of nurses, doctors, x-rays, iv's (FUCKAWFUL), burning child, sleepy child, more tests, Cartoon Network, tiny bed.

So many times I think, "Gah! Just grow up already, just listen, just do this, do that." And then that tiny, baby hand reaches out for me, "Mommy?"

Then I remember. He's just a baby, my baby, and GAH CAN YOU JUST SLOW DOWN?! Seeing him look for me, as he was standing in front of a monstrous xray machine, his arms being held up by strangers, me behind a pane of glass, crushed me. Tiny little belly, ribs poking out, skinny little arms stretched up, head on a swivel. He looked so tiny there, lip quivering.

Later in the room, "Mommy, lay yis me." Of course I did, in that tiny little horrible bed. I laid there all night, holding that little dude so tight I couldn't sleep.

He slept, I cried.

Diagnosis, RSV, stomach virus, possible pneumonia. Ouch. All stemming from a cough 24 hours prior.

He was way braver than I could even pretend to be, and today he's resting hard, but not out of the woods. For one second, I thought, "let me wait one more half hour, he'll get better."

No, no Mom. He won't.

My guts, I trusted them, and now we're mending.

Just Some Saturday Thoughts

2012-01-14T14:38:00.000-05:00

Anyone ever tell ~~Boobs DeLaurentis~~ Giadda that she's a breathing, talking bobblehead? (Be care-sies clicking that link, she's trying to eat your soul)
I want my own house. I just switched banks and started up a savings plan for a down payment. I don't care what they say...man or not (on board that is), I WANT MY OWN HOUSE.
Also? I want a house where I can have a few chickens, and bees. I'm obsessed. I've researched that more than the housing market.
I don't know if y'all keep up (Instagram and what not) but I got a new hog:

So, I'm pretty much in a bike gang now. Jackets in production

Also, got duder a sweet seat, so he's in the gang now too:

The Ibert

Amazon is the best place/thing on earth. THE BEST. I need to start tracking my purchases because I think I got Little Ms. Two Pretzels by a mile.
I'm hungry.
Also, thirsty, very very thirsty.

Peace out suckas.

Firsts

2012-01-04T14:08:00.000-05:00

This is the first time I’m *kinda* sad to see a year go. 2011 was kind to me, kinder than I deserved, but I’m not asking any questions. However, moving forward is always good. It gives us a chance to stake new claims, eat more cheese, having the MOAR of the life stuffins. Good stuff all around. I’m not big on resolutions mainly because I have an intolerably short attention span, but there are some things I’d like to “shoot for” in the 2012.

I want to really buckle down on my health. I do good, I have to say that I have always been a pretty healthy in-duh-vidge, but I have fallen off on exercising, my gym card rotting on my keychain as we speak.
I want to create more. I have everything a createtress (it’s a word, now) could ever need to get her motor running, but I’m so run down at the end of the day that I neglect my calling. I think the exercise will kick this up, always does. I have created several new pieces for the shop, as well as an assortment of new, non-head things. The suspense is killing you, I’m sure.
PRIORITY: I want to do more stuff with Dubs. Just, stuff…you know?
This may sound lame, but I would love to start writing letters. Like, shit you put stamps on and send to people. My bff and I used to do this all the time when I was in college, and I still have every letter saved. It got me through some tough times, and it just feels good to put effort into something little like that. Who doesn’t love mail?
Potty train this child. It ain’t me, it’s him. Dude will NOT drop heat in the sinker. Bribes are useless on this child, fyi. Any and all suggestions are welcome. P.S. gunpoint don't work neither. KIDDING. Sort of.

And now, a recap of 2011:

January
I met my love in December, our first official date was New Year’s Day, top that, Universe! I literally thank my lucky stars every day that he plopped himself into our lives, and decided to stay. I am, whole-heartedly in love with every single fiber of my being. In love with him, my life, my sweet baby boy-man, and all things present. What a difference a year (or 2) makes, eh?

February
I joined the gym and lost almost 20 el-bees. Oh skinny legs of yore, wherefor art thee?

March
Things really took off with I Heart Velveteen. I started buying ad space, did a little sponsoring here and there, and made enough money to supplement my income and relax a little. I also started seriously looking to get the hell out of the city and closer to home and family.

April
THE BINKIE LEFT US. After months of unsuccessful attempts to rid my son of his beloved “gink” the boyfriend took it when he wasn’t looking, and told him a bird stole it and pooped it out in the ocean. No questions asked, and HAND TO GOD, the kid never looked back or gave a single thought to that damn thing. Unbelievable. Also? I landed a job back home, not close to home, HOME. When I got the call I had to pull over on I-83 just to cry. Then, I called Jen. Life-changer that was.

May
I started my new job, and settled into our apartment. Tons of light pouring in, QUIET MAGICAL NEIGHBOR, big front porch, yadda yadda happy stuff.

June/July/August
Honestly? All I did was fish, chill, and fish. Welcome back formerly-lost 20 pounds.

September
I watched my sister get married, bought a new(ish) car that I've always wanted, survived a hurricane, and (most importantly) rekindled my love affair with brussels sprouts. This was obviously a big month for me.

October
I decided I wanted to learn how to crochet and man did that take off. Dubs was Clark Kent for Halloween, and we are STILL chipping away at the mass of candy he pulled down. Kid was a machine on 'Ween.

November
I got an iPhone, I got an iPhone. If you're singing that in a real annoying voice in your head, you're doing it right. Thanks to the addictive pull of Instagram, I now document everything from my favorite cheeses to the new salad spinner I got. Fact. The bf and I went hunting, a lot, and got to spend a lot of warm, fuzzy family time together.

December
I celebrated one whole year with my man-piece. A YEAR. If you've been following along for a while, you get the momentous momentum of this, or something. The love, we has it. I helped my sisters throw a surprise 60th for my Diddy:

(made it, duh)

My BABY turned 3...

I spent NYE on the beach with my loves

Duder got a sweet ride for Christmas

And, I got a real tree, with the help of my boys

Basically, 2011 was one big mushy fucking sunset after sunset. I think the reason why I'm sad to see it go, is because I actually enjoyed it...even the low points. I caught myself stepping back a lot, taking deep breaths and really enjoying the exact moment I was in instead of wondering how I was going to make it through. 2011, long may She live, I'll pour some out (into my face) in her honor.

So, here's to 2012, you've got a lot to live up to dude.

Just Some Things

2011-12-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

For startskies, Happy Holidays, whichever ones y'all are into, I hope they are going real kick-ass for you. I'm just stoked as shit to get shit wrapped up (literally and figuratively), and get my Christmas Eve booze on. Knowwhatimsayin?! Nudge nudge.

Eh, you guys need to get out more.

Anyways, I've been keeping a secret from you beautiful bitches. I started another blog a while back to help keep me on track with my health goals. I'm not ready to release that kitty into the streets yet but just know, those of you who actually miss me, that THAT is where I have been. So there's that. Need to keep this shit in check before Sir Mix-a-Lot shows up dancin on my front lawn in front of a giant foam ass.

That said, I come here almost every day with full intentions to write down all the crazy awesome shit ~~mundane details~~ of my day-to-day, but when I click the "new post" button, my brain goes completely blank. Ugh.

I mean, I guess I could lament about how beautiful my boy is...

How he's so smart, and loving, yet frightfully stubborn and rotten all at the same time. How when I hang my head (which doesn't happen often these days) he's right there, with his hands under my chin, "Mommy, make a happy face." I should also probably tell you, that his "gwillfwend" was walking into the sitter's, and he ran back outside to hold the door, and let her go in first. Yeah, MY boy did that. Every day I'm learning to appreciate the rottenness too, how he acts out to express things I can't understand, things he doesn't understand. How, when I really take a step back, the rotten things he does are actually kind of adorable. When you have children, I think that's when you realize the true meaning of love, but more importantly, the patience to realize true love.

I could also tell you that uh, well, I've been with this handsome devil for a year now. A YEAR.

That's some epic shit right there. One year, and up until a week ago, nary a disagreement or moment of silence. Even that was but a blip, and born of complete and total love for each other. We plan meals and cook together, we hunt together, he loves my son like he was his own, and he takes care of us before anything else. Fact: everything happens for a reason, FACT GODDAMIT. As wishy-washy as it sounds, that shit is so real. Buh'lee dat.

In general, things are good. The Housewives are still on TV in full force (thank god), cheese is still a food group, and oh yeah I WON A FRICKING MOOSE PLATE. A moose plate upon which I shall eat all of my cheese off of whilst watching the Real Housewives. With champagne.

Always with champagne. Sometimes with salad.

To think, I started typing with FULL intentions of bitching about tiny purses and the fact that they are merely wallets for your wallets, and maybe a chapstick. Yeah, that.

Meh

2011-12-14T12:12:00.000-05:00

Today is a shit day. I've got nothing.

But this? THIS made me laugh so hard I had to cover my mouth and tears came out. You are SO welcome.

um, it's effing ON

2011-12-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

Oh hey y'all, what's up? Me? Oh nothing, just coming at you from my MACBOOKPROBITCHES.

The ol iBook G4 finally kicked it after 7 years of solid, and I do mean solid, service. I have been putting off purchase of a new machine, and Fawntavia finally whimpered off this technological coil the other night. It was sad, yet ultimately her time.

You have NO idea how excited I am about this. I do a ton of work on the side, for local businesses, friends, etc., and this is going to allow me to work remotely way more efficiently. Fawntavia had to be plugged in at all times, not conducive to on-site work.

Also? I plan on writing more now that I can do it from home (and office, like, right now) comfortably and not contingent upon outlet location. For now, til I get her fired up completely and properly name her, there's probably going to be a lot of this bullshit going on:

You have NO idea how hard it is to wait those three seconds for the shutter to click AND stare at yourself looking like this. None.

WW - In My Absence

2011-12-07T13:32:00.000-05:00

new do

crocheting in the deer stand

"Mommy! Take-uh pitchur of muh feets"

Swamp People reenactment

one on one with Frankel the Elf

QT with my man-piece in the woods

Damn Bumpus'

2011-11-22T12:08:00.001-05:00

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Right?

Hello?

Ahhh, ‘ze ‘Olidays (say that with a French accent or it’s not rolling off the brain like I’m picturing it). The stress and chest-crushing anxiety that I experience this time of year is indescribable. I have spent the past 2 weeks sporadically breaking out in hives, throwing up, and not sleeping. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Thanksgiving, hell, I even love Christmas, it’s just…there’s so much to “do” and you have to be way up here for such extended periods of time, and that is something that my innards cannot handle. Truth be told, I would rather hide under my bed with a good book and some strong vodka until the whole thing blows over.

It’s not you, it’s me.

For as long as I have memory, I have usually spent one significant night of the holiday season sleeping in the bathroom. Usually the night before Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve. Barftown, population = 1. I get so twisted up, thinking about buying gifts, making all the dinners so everyone is happy, HAPPY FACE HAPPY FACE ALWAYS WITH THE FACE THAT IS HAPPY. HI I AM HAPPY LIKE THIS SO OFT…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Again, it’s not you, it’s me.

I LOVE MY FAMILY and the spending of the times with said family, but there is just something so intensely morose about the holidays to me that I just can’t shake. I’m hoping the fact that Dubs is cognizant of “Santa” and “Christmas” this year will help to shake me out of it. Maybe the joy in his face will ease the anxiety of disappointment and never doing enough of the things that resides in the pit of my chest.

We shall see, shan’t we?

Since I’m so crippled by this, I’ll dial it down and ease out of this awkward convo I’ve started here by hitting you with some of this fluffy, happy, unicorn-y stuffins:

I got an iPhone. BOOM.

everyone approves

Expect lots of food shots

but mostly just a lot of this guy

doin shit like this

and telling stories like this.

p.s. Instagram? I get it, you're awesome. Now let me sleep.

So, for the next month I am going to focus on really kick-ass things like donut dates with Wodat, really interesting bedtime stories, making awesome shit for my people, cooking food that makes my shitty apartment smell like a HOME, and decorating for Christmas. Which will commence Friday morning because I cannot take it one more frigging second.

Seriously, my shittin decorations are haunting me like the goddam tell tale heart up in this motherbitch.

Comin to you live from my stretchy pants,

Biscuit

Halloween Sneak Peek

2011-11-01T09:18:00.000-04:00

Halloween, through the years. This was the best one yet, more to come.

First Halloween, 2009

My Gnomeboy, 2010

Clark Kent, 2011

(p.s. Dude KILLED it this year. Total commital to the character. He's SO my kid.)

Fall Closeout

2011-10-13T11:37:00.001-04:00

Hey y'all, I'm currently cleaning out the Velveteen shop to make room for some sweet-ass new headbands I've been toiling away at, as well as some COMPLETELY NEW items I'm really excited to set loose on the public. To get this shit crackin, I'm adding the incentive of a discount code.

Use FALL2011 to get 10% off of any of the 4 remaining bands I still have listed. Hurry up though, once these beauties are gone, they are gone. I'm putting completely new stuff up, and it's time to retire my original collection of "Pretty Little Things."

As always, I am more than willing to create custom orders, just message me via the shop!

xoxo

Recap

2011-10-07T14:13:00.000-04:00

Recap: things sucked, then they got better. The End.

Kidding! Kind of.

After the past week, I know why the Almighty makes kids so damn cute...

So you don't stomp on the brakes when they are being brats and throwing shit at the back of your head, sending them into a chokehold via Britax. For this, we thank ye Almighty for sparing the wee ones for they know not what they do. Ahhh-AHHH-AHHH-ahhh-mennnnnnnnn.

This rainbow touched down on both sides, wholly and completely. This was a first for me. In due time, there should be a viral video of me losing my shit, "A WHOLE RAINBOW, WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAANNNNNNN?!?!?"

Also? This thing keeps growing. He's grounded until he stops.

WW - Conversations With A Sister

2011-10-05T11:58:00.001-04:00

hehehehhHEAHHAHehhheheh

Cold Weather Makes Me Wanna Do Some Shit

2011-10-04T09:54:00.001-04:00

Some shit I wants to get dunz:

source

I really wanna can some shit, like, really can the shit out of some shit. Like, when you open up my cupboard, bitches be like, "DAY-AM, this hooker can can some shit up. Looka dis treasure trove of canned-up shit!"

Or something like that.

Problem is, I ain't got a garden and shit. Damn. Oh, and I've never canned a GOT-damn thing in my life, but I have a pressure cooker, some beer, and a whole lot of moxie. (Nyahhhh, see?)

Know what else? I wanna crochet some shit up.

source

Now keep in mind, the onliest (it's a word) thing I ever crocheted (not sure it THAT is a word) up is a long ass scarf. Straight ass line. No pattern ne-cess-ary. The link above leads to nothing really, anyone want to volunteer to teach me how to do this? mailto:iheartvelveteen@gmail.com kthanks.

source

Fort, YES! I've been saving up old sheets and blankets for just this reason. What?! I'm grown, I can do what I want. True story: once, in college, my boyfriend and I (he whose name we do not speak) built a MASSIVE fort in the living room, actually it took up the whole living room. We even dragged our mattress out there, kept it like that for weeks. Our landlord stopped by one day and was all, "the fuck?!", and we were all, "dude, embrace it. now get in here and take some bong hits with us." Kidding. Kind of. This made me laugh harder than I care to admit, because this could have been written by me:

yes, yes we are going to build a fort.

In sum, I wanna can some shit up (which I've never done), I wanna crochet the shit out of some shit (also, never advanced beyond a "scarf"), and I wanna build my grown-ass a fort because, duh do you really need a reason to do so? Throw in some hot beverages that taste like pumpkin, cinnamon, and beer, and you pretty much have my agenda for the next, oh, 4-6 months.

Let's rock.

Friday Roundup

2011-09-30T16:14:00.001-04:00

At the end of this atypically depressing week, I'd like to offer up some great shit from around the innernets.

Don't say I never gave you nothin.

It's that time of year again, Fall. This is, by far, my favorite piece of written word regarding this festive time of year. Pee now, read second.
Hallelujah, she finally likes cold weather! After this glimpse into Alaska, I love it too.
I've got a problem with brussels sprouts, this isn't helping any.
Also, these.
New favorite read. Why? She called taking a dump, a "shadoob"...soulmates.
I love making challah when the weather cools off, this looks like an awesome recipe. Although, LP is allerg-ees to apples (and a lot of other awesome stuff) so I'm going to have to sub something else in.
Pretty eye/brain food. Live vicariously why don't you?
What if Smurfs were real? Creeptown, U.S.A.
How to peel a head of garlic in less than 10 seconds...good to know.
Lastly, I've put this on the bucket list of things to see in person. I grew up watching this woman religiously, and I cry every.single.time. I watch Julie & Julia when she gets to go here at the end of the movie.

Enjoy your weekend, I'll be over here enjoying the view...

I'm Sorry

2011-09-28T11:39:00.001-04:00

Despite this picture, he is not an angel.

What he is, is two years old, and some change. I have such a hard time remembering this in our day-to-day interactions. He is willful, and stubborn, just like me. He is smart, smarter than he should be, and strong both in mind and body.

I lost my patience this morning, and I snapped at him. He threw the bottom lip out, his eyes got bleary and red and he sputtered, “you hurt me, are you happy?”

Fuck, ouch.

When I didn’t answer, he asked again, “are you happy?”

No Buddy, I’m not happy. The lump in my throat has been tight all day, I’m so not happy. I’m sorry. If you had a little cell phone in your chubby little hands right now I would call you and cry and tell you how sorry I am.

Mommy’s just not happy with herself, this balance is hard, being a mom and being me. Mean old, demanding, uptight, OCD-riddled me. I don’t know how to be Mommy and still be Me I love you so much it makes me sick, but the before-you “Me” doesn’t know how to be patient and let little you be You and do little you things, and be bad, and ornery because that’s what little you’s do.

Right?

I had to stop reading these Fairy Princess Mommy blogs in my Reader because they made me judge myself and how I do me and my mommy duties. There is no way in hell it’s that easy for some people and that some people have these kids who shit unicorn glitter out of their asses and never do anything that challenges their mommy brains. Right?! Please tell me there are other people who have hurt their kids feelings, and sometimes they just want to run away and not be Mommy for a minute, just a minute. If there are people who really do operate that way, well, I guess I’m jealous of them and their perfect kid, and their perfect lives, with their perfect husbands who work multiple jobs just so they can go on being perfect with their kids every minute of the day.

Reality? I’m probably just a horrible person. I feel like it today. I usually don’t publish these posts, I usually send them to my secret group of readers, and they make me feel better and say nice things. But today? Today, I kind of feel like punishing myself and letting the whole world know how horrible of a mother I am.

Feel free to punch me in the face. If you don’t, I will.

Despite this picture, I am not an angel.

According To The Phone...

2011-09-27T14:05:00.001-04:00

We had a kick-ass weekend.

decorated the house. the decorations have multiplied since this picture. damn Target.

um. my kid built this. on his own. unguided. i'm impressed

MUNO! (at a car dealership no less. that guy.)

also, please disregard my child's outfit, his grandparents dressed him.

bowling for the first time.

KISS tongue optional.

(sidenote: can you even stand the tiny bowling shoes?!)

STOKED.

leaning with the ball. it starts young.

some kind of vicotry dance.

big pimpin. spent some g's.

(actually, just paid off my car and got an AMAZING trade-in. i'm still in shock)

Because

2011-09-23T15:10:00.000-04:00

Because I cried in the bathroom today. Because I want to end the week on a fun note. Because I couldn't be more enthused about getting out of this joint for a few days...but mostly because I am spent: The A-Z meme.

A. Age: 33
B. Bed size: Queen
C. Chore that you hate: Dishes. Just buy new ones...
D. Dogs: bad subject
E. Essential start to your day: strong breakfast, catching up on my Reader, and coffee/tea
F. Favorite color: yellow, these days at least
G. Gold or Silver: Silver, my god don't try to give me gold anything.
H. Height: 5’5"
I. Instruments you play(ed): piano, guitar
J. Job title: I'm a "specialist" of sorts...
K. Kids: 1 son named Wodat, almost 3
L. Live: Maryland
M. Mother’s name: Vickie
N. Nicknames: Bones
O. Overnight hospital stays: Almost a whole week having my son
P. Pet peeves: short rss feeds, people that stand pigeon-toed in pics b/c they think it makes them look cute, hovering, giving opinions when they aren't wanted...
Q. Quote from a movie: "Come inside, meet the Misses, hava a cuppa tea..." Labyrinth
R. Right or left handed: right
S. Siblings: 3 sisters, 2 brothers, all younger
T. Time you wake up: 6 am, every damn day of the week
U. Underwear: iz good
V. Vegetable you hate: turnips. sick.
W. What makes you run late: the comfiness of my bed.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: teeth, multiple bones, MULTIPLE. (read: clumsy)
Y. Yummy food that you make: bitch, errrrything i makes is delicious. no, seriously, cooking is my wheelhouse
Z. Zoo animal: prarie dogs get me every time

WW - Anger Issues

2011-09-21T09:27:00.000-04:00

so apparently I use many derivations of F*$K!, according to my phone's dictionary.

whatever.

Screenshot of a typical convo between LP and I while playing Words w/ Friends. Please note, he last played the word "el"...also, he cheats.

WW - Snackin

2011-09-14T16:28:00.000-04:00

these effers keep me awake at night. steamed, olive oil, sea salt. done and done.

Couch 2 5K

2011-09-13T13:57:00.000-04:00

Don't worry, I'm not going to turn this into a health/fitness blog. That said, I started doing interval training this week to get me running a healthy-paced 5K in a few weeks. I've been wanting to get back into running for some time now, the last time I was committed was before I had Dubs, and I've never really picked it back up save for a few painful sessions with a treadmill.

I have a really nice jogger, and dude likes to ride along so I really have no good excuse not to run, right? I downloaded the C25K app for my phone, and I was pleasantly suprised at how easy the first session was, and I look forward to being able to step it up gradually in the coming weeks. You are only supposed to run 3 days a week and do strength training on the off days, perfect. Last night's run was easy, and I'm already stoked to hit the road again Wednesday. Tonight I am doing yoga, and taking the kid to the park for pull ups and mountain climbers.

Also, in some exciting side news...I found a Kombucha I don't just like, I LOVE. The Synergy Guava Goddess is delicious! If we are being honest, the Mighty Green one was a bit tough to get through the other day, but I'm not one to give up so I took a chance again today.

I'm hooked now, good thing this only costs about a paycheck.

Today's grub:

Natural rolled oats with a spoon of nut butter, and a banana. Again, VERY filling.

Guava Goddess Kombucha! and a spicy tuna roll from the organic market. I'll probably toss back some almonds and a piece of dark chocolate for a snack when I get home, but honestly, this ol girl is FULL right now and looking forward to fresh flounder (caught by yours truly) and grilled veggies tonight!

I'm feeling super awesome refreshed after my beach weekend too. I won't even tell you what I ate, but I can say I pretty much stuck to the clean-eating approach and I didn't feel gross or like I overate at any point. I took a 3-hour nap, I fished all morning Saturday, and spent some much needed alone time with Captain Handsome-Pants. I was pretty close to the edge, not going to lie, and it was exactly what I needed to refocus and get my head straight.

That slice of heat on the right? MINE!

Squishy. She snorted like a pug and I desperately wanted to keep her and take her everywhere with me.

This weekend's adventure? My little sister is getting married! I can't wait to see how all the planning turns out, and to see her in that dress! I'm going to need a heap-ton of tissues to carry me through this one.

Watch Out World

2011-09-09T14:03:00.000-04:00

Out of nowhere, my darling youngest sister has offered to watch my kidlet, not just the one day I threw out as a long shot, but EVERY SINGLE DAY this weekend. So, starting tonight, I'm headed to the beach with my love for a long weekend of NOTHING! Dinner out, fishing, walking, morning run at the beach, who knows? I'm trying to do not much of anything except maybe meditate, and drink some delicious beer(s).

Speaking of delicious beers, Pumking is out! I found out last night that if you mix that lil vixen with a touch of Creme Brulee Stout, you basically have a party going on in your facehole. It's amazing. I have bought a generous amount of this to take to the beach.

Party on Wayne....

Also, thank you to everyone for the little kick in the ass that I needed. For those who asked, Dubs is doing AMAZING this week, and has made a complete turn-around. He's eating again (thanks to some magical chicken noodle soup, thanks Steph!)...

He's playing again (does anyone else find this as kick-ass as I do?)...

And apparently growing by the minute. Where did those looooong legs come from?

As for my end of the health game, I'm really committing to watching what I put in my body and how it affects me. I have completely changed my eating habits, and I'm sticking to it. I already feel better just cutting out extra crap and eating a bunch of small squirrel meals throughout the day. Every day I toss around the idea of going gluten-free, even if just for a little while, to see if that helps with my stomach issues. I just don't think I'm ready, or prepared, to do that yet, but I do feel as though it's worth a try. Dubs has a lot of stomach issues as well, and I can't help but wonder if it would help us both. News at 11.

Here's a little snapshot of what I've been eating lately:

Tuna mixed w/ hummus not mayo, with a rice cake mashed in it.

Honestly, not a "tunafish" fan, but this is filling and satisfying. Sometimes I mix in romaine or spinach too.

Snack time. Love me a rice cake with some good 'ol PB on it. I use the organic natural kind, but only a teaspoon, it doesn't need much and takes care of my craving for something sweet.

I've really gotten into the habit of making my lunch the night before, or cooking bulk things I can easily make into a lunch. I steam a lot of chicken and veggies, then put them in salads or wraps. For a snack I'll jam on some baby carrots and a skim string cheese. This lunch is super filling, and only 300 calories.

Today's special lunch. Spicy Tuna (w/ just sriracha not mayo) and a Kombucha. SPLURGE! I've heard great things about Kombucha so I thought I would give the Multi-Green a try....um...not bad? Word of advice, this shit is live, as in raw and living. DO NOT SHAKE, or it will look like a seagull shit all over your office after you open it up, or uh, so I hear.

Discovery of the week definitely goes to FINALLY finding an organic market near by where I can score bulk oats, grains, and quinoa. Seriously, quinoa is like friggin Elvis around these parts, I hear about it all the time, but I'll be damned if I've been able to find it until today! Sweet glory ha-lay-loo. I stocked up on rolled oats, nuts, quinoa, and some seeds to supplement my diet. I've been eating natural rolled oats with berries and a dollop of nut butter every morning and it's amazing how full I feel. I can go to like 1:00 without losing my mind fantasizing about lunch.

All in all, I'm already feeling better, on the inside. As far as the outside goes, I've been doing yoga every day and I've started to (slowly) get back into running. I know this will be a process, but I also want it to be a life change, as in NOT a diet or a temporary fix. Good thing is, I'm a bangarang cook and I actually like the stuff I am eating. Go me.

Have a great weekend folks, take care of yourselves.

WW - Weekend Extremes

2011-09-07T15:18:00.001-04:00

One weekend it's a-hurrikin'in, and all's you got to do is watch the weather and scratch-offs....

The next, you're up with the sun, doing yoga and making pink blueberry pancakes...

Alls this weekend needed was a drive on the beach, and some fresh air on your, uh, cheeks....

Typical.

*all pictures are SOOC! Just a point of pride really. As you were.

Septemberous UPDATED

2011-09-02T10:18:00.001-04:00

It’s the first of the month, so what better time to get it together than now, right?

“Get what together, Biscuit? Gosh it looks like you’re pretty good on that tip?”

Ha, you guys, jokes for days I tell ya.

The IT? The it being my all-around state of health. I was like a fricking pillar in the health community not too long ago. I was working out daily, eating super healthy, and feeling really, really good about myself. Now? Uh-not-so-much. Not only have I managed to gain back every.single.pound. I previously fought off, I’ve gained a few other lb’s to keep those effers company. Lovely.

Current Status = hating self, loving moo moos and trapeze dresses

The truth? My fat day pants don’t even fit anymore, and by the time 4:30 rolls around, I’m usually unbuttoning them AT MY DESK, AT WORK.

Cue: banjos and howling dogs. Hell, throw in some moonshine

Where life got infinitely better by moving back to my hometown, it also got a lot more cramped in here, the headspace. I went from having NO! LIFE! AT! ALL! to ZOMG! I HAVE SO MUCH LIFE! HERE BEER BONG THIS LIFE, IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET ALL THIS EFFING LIFE UP IN YOUR LIFE! LIFE!

Exaggeration not included.

I can’t just leave work for an hour at lunch and traipse down the block to the gym. I can’t justify leaving my sweet lil booger bean with yet another set of strangers AFTER work, AFTER he has been waiting all day to ~~make me crazy~~ love me so much. I can’t just be like, “no boyfriend, I will not have the good times with your painfully handsome self, I got squats and deep lunges to tend to, kthanksbye.” Carefully thought out meals of fresh, delicious thingies have been replaced with hot dogs, spaghettis, steaks, eating out twice a week, and an unhealthy supply of cheese. Mmmmm, sweet, delicious cheese. Eff. Now I’ve got the cheese sweats.

So, cue the Whitesnake, here I go again. I have realized that I NEED to write down what I eat, what exercise I do, every day. I can’t just fake it and expect to hold myself to these things. As I sit here, my dunlap is actually causing me discomfort, and I’m a nanosecond away from impaling someone with the top button of my jeans as the sheer force of release will propel this thing off of me at about 150 knots. Nautically speaking of course.

What are you doing to maintain a healthy lifestyle? Nothing? Genetically gifted?

Bitch.

*so, if you want to link up on MyFitnessPal.com, my user name is _biscuit_ . They have an EXTENSIVE database, and a really great mobile app and it really helps me track and keep count not just of calories, but the exercise I do and how much water I take in. I find it's best for me to have it right in my face. PLUS, it's almost like FB for health. Feel free to add me and we can do it together! I'm using a great meal/exercise/recipe plan from the latest issue of SELF mag with some slight mods to cut even more calories in the beginning. If anyone wants to know more, let me know and I'll do some updates here as well.

cringe and hit publish

2011-09-01T10:09:00.000-04:00

Sleepwalking.

That’s what every movement today feels like. I haven’t really “slept” in over 3 days, possibly more. I have a super sick kid, his asthma is kicking up and this season it has come back harder than ever. What started out as something he was going to grow out of has now turned into a daily regimen of breathing treatments, pills, air purifiers, (even more) constant vacuuming and cleaning, and prescriptions that cost more money per month than I have to spend.

Stressed. Out.

It’s so hard being the only person responsible for holding it all together. Just once I want to be able to say, “not it, your turn today.”

I can do it, I just don’t want to today, or tomorrow really if we are being honest. I want to sleep, I want my baby to be able to sleep through the night without coughing until he voms or spits up blood. Have you ever seen a little, sweet person barf? It terrifies them. He was covered in it several times yesterday, bawling, and shaking so hard he could barely talk. I want to understand how I’m responsible for a $300 prescription deductible when I’m a single, head-of-household. I want to be that perfect, level-headed mom that doesn’t lose her temper, or hide in the bathroom and cry in the shower.

Yesterday was not one of my finest as a mother. Loving him comes naturally to me, handling him and all the tiny little person intricacies that come with him does not. It’s so hard not having even one single second to compose yourself. I can’t even go to the bathroom without him. If I lock the door, he stands outside of it and screams.

Some days, I scream too, just scream. Literally howl at the top of my lungs.

As I sat there, toweling puke off of my naked, shaking son, I started to cry so hard that I was making noise. Here was this perfect little person, holding on to me for dear life, relying on my puke-wiping skills to survive. Relying on me for everything to survive…and he grabs my face and tells me not to cry, it be aw-wight.

Just keep swimming…just keep swimming…

Making Good

2011-08-26T12:49:00.004-04:00

So last week I capped it off with a big ol, "I'MA ENJOY THIS WEEKEND DAMMIT."

This weekend, we are smack in the eye of Hurricane Irene. This isn't my first rodeo with Mutha Nature, but we are still going to high ground and bunking down with this ruggedly handsome feller. He's good at takin care of shit, and I mean come on...why WOULDN'T I want to get stuck with him and Dubs?!

Gotta Have That Funk

2011-08-19T12:26:00.000-04:00

cheer up Charlie...

My new favorite read.

Or no, maybe it’s this one…

I don’t know. I’m enjoying pictures, big, bright airy things with less words these days. I’m finding I have less and less time to immerse myself. I hate that, and I kind of love that. I also hate that most of your blogs are blocked at work, so even though I can read them on Reader, I can’t comment.

Absolutely hate that. I love you guys, all of you.

To say this has been an “off” week is an understatement. Things are decidedly more than off. I have had close calls, defeats, triumphs, pain, and downright confusion on all things Life.

Ugh, the funk, I think it’s viral or something. I’ve had several friends/family call/email me in a similar funk, some already in tears before the first word is out. It’s alright y’all, we’ll get through this. Maybe it’s the changing of time, kids going back to school, evenings cooling off and giving way to another season. Who knows, I know I’m ready for the change. Maybe that’s it. This lingering around in heat waiting for the shift is making my brain parts antsy (or maybe just angsty).

This weekend, I am making a conscious effort to clear out the funk. I’m pretty sure all of this is in direct correlation to shark week (no, not that Shark Week) and I’ll be over it in a matter of a day. Until then, I’m cleaning my house, rearranging a room or two, taking pictures, finishing my Pinterest Challenge so I can earn the title of Kingpin, skating with my baby boy (got almost a whole hour in solo last night, FREEDOM), cooking on my new grill, and just getting my mind right in general.

Enjoy every minute of your weekends, seriously, go nuts.

Well Herro LOVAH!

2011-08-18T11:07:00.000-04:00

You guys. New lens in the house. New lens.

I can't explain how much light this thing lets in. My apartment is a dark cave, it's almost magic.

With the "birthday cake" he made me

(mix-match day at the sitters. the socks were his choice)

I am seriously in love with this thing, and I can't believe how long it took me to buy a prime lens. I can't wait to get home and practice more. This lens is a game-changer, and I implore you-if you like taking pictures at all, especially portraits, then get'chee self a 50. The light! The bokeh! It is the lens of dreams, and now I've got my eye on more, and possibly a new body in the future since I've decided to invest and stick with Nikon (I have been shooting with a D70 for almost 6 years now). Now I actually WANT to take pictures. I hate, no, LOATHE using a flash, and I actually have the capability to shoot indoors without relying on that "magic hour" time of day. Reckon once I get my eyes spruced up next week at the docs, I'll actually be able to focus better too. I don't trust autofocus...not one bit. I'm anxiously awaiting my Warby Parker try-ons as we speak. I picked my five yesterday, and they have already shipped! Very impressed with the turn-around time so far, now let's hope I don't look like a big, fat nerd in them.

In other news, I'm in deep with my Pinterest Challenge group. This week I have had a couple wrenches thrown in my life, and I'm actively bobbing and weaving, and recovering. I'm going to do my best to finish it tonight, but there are literally no guarantees that a cow won't drop out of the sky, land on my car, and crush my sewing hand. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised by anything at this point.

Watch out world.

WW - Busy Weekend

2011-08-17T13:16:00.000-04:00

Wheeled to the licka sto'

Threw a lil party for a soon-to-be-wed little sister

Took a day off, and went through the CAR WASH!

Got a shweet haircut.

WW - Pinterest Edition

2011-08-10T13:57:00.002-04:00

step into my head, will you?

source

related note...can we get going on Fall already?

Also, duh, hook a sistuh up on Pinterest. I'm _biscuit_

Because I Can

2011-08-08T11:13:00.000-04:00

I'm just going to dump some photos on you, because I can. Because it's my birthday, duh.

I do what I want.

I don't know what kills me more about this picture...the double-head effect, or the look on my face in the bottom pic.

Cute. Duh.

Note: lack of teeth, holiday sweater...this was obvs a good year for me.

shit just comes naturally to me. no clue where i was all packed up to go. Also? RAT TAIL.

oh yeah, that haircut actually worked out AWESOME

SOMEbody wanted a fancy do too

beginning of a great day

dorkus fishnuts

LP and Biscuit on the high seas. <3 this guy.

Bee-tee-dubs, I'm guest posting over at Grumbles & Grunts today! Do me a birthday solid and go check it out so I don't single-handedly ruin James' street cred/hit rates. Kthanks.

Links for Dinks

2011-08-05T11:53:00.014-04:00

Can I say that I am officially over Summer? Is that allowed, or will it label me as a Summer grinch? Don't care, over it. I'm longing for the smell of leaves, crisp air, scarves, and this:

This is the beer of dreams. I know I'm gonna hear it from Jon, but Jon can suck an egg. Jon, suck. an. egg. I can say that, because, well, Jon torments me on a daily basis. It's how we do. This beer is like drinking straight out of a pumpkin's ass, which may not sound awesome, but it totally is. Trust me on this one. PUMKING FTW!

GASP, how gorge are these pictures? I’ve been on a ballerina kick lately

Not for nothing, but I usually have issues with outfit posts, seriously, I'm no fashion plate but some of you all take that shit to another level. I'm about to buy some em-effs a pack of light bulbs so they STOP GETTING DRESSED IN THE DARK. But this?…tres cute!

Um, SAY WHUT?! Oh I’m mad now…somebody better get to makin me some damn pancakes.

Good GOT-damn I love teh innernets. I was just gifted THREE trash bags of scraps and I was thinking, “you know, a lot of this shit is total crap, maybe I could make a beanbag chair out of it?” Boom, next day I find this link. C’mere innernets, lemme squeeze ya.

This ottoman is $993, your argument is invalid. I can totally make this shit. Maybe.

I know this is for LITTLE PEOPLE, but I’m thinking I can modify and make a kafrillion for myself. JUssssst in time for winter. I’m a careful planner like that.

I want to learn how to make these for all my friends cute kids. Dubs would have none of these.

Also, be sure to check my shit out over at Grumbles & Grunts Monday! I'm doing a guest post for James while she's out at VajineeFest 2K11, and I couldn't be more ~~completelyoutofmymindscared~~ honored!

Teach A Man To Fish...

2011-08-04T09:13:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago, we took Dubs fishing on the boat after work. I packed a cooler full of chicken, fig newtons, string cheese and beer (essentials, duh) and we headed out. LP let Dubbies "drive" the boat, and let me tell you that was probably the best moment of his life. He really thought he was something. We have fished here and there with him, but I would consider this his first real fishing expedition. We basically held the rod steady while he reeled them in, all by himself I might add, and watched him have the time of his life. It was a gorgeous day, spent with two of my most favorite people in the world, and to watch The Wiz and LP do their man thing, well, there were definitely moments of Momma hiding behind her sunglasses so's nobody could see me mistin up like a big ol ninny.

throwin one back

reeling them in!

the fish had just surfaced, look at his face!

goin it alone, he looks so pro!

perfect end to a perfect day

WW - We Do Stuff

2011-08-03T09:44:00.001-04:00

Aunt. All Business. All day.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

classy.

THIS is how, this is how, this is how you boat.

pretty little one.

TEETH.

do you see her eyes? they are the craziest things, she has husky eyes. beautiful.

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

makin moves.

Pinky Swear

2011-08-01T21:45:00.003-04:00

For those of you wondering, “how am I going to get through today?”

You will, somehow. Then you’ll do it again the next day, and the next, and then again the day after that. You’ll do it because that’s what we do, we get through, we move, we bump into things that eventually make it easier, lighter, brighter in this dark little space in our heads.

It’s been two years since, well, you know…that whole “heart-ripping-out-of-the-ass” thing. Two years and a lifetime. Today I sit here crying as I type, just like I did two years ago, except this time I cry because I can’t imagine my life being any better. I have no clue how I got here, but damn it feels good and I’m not asking any questions, not anymore. I also cry because I can still see that girl that I was, like I’m floating over her and I want to pick her up and whisper all the wonderful things that are ahead of her in her ear, and I can’t. If I squint, and bend my head slightly to the left I can see myself back in that place of unbelievable gut-wrenching pain, especially the first few days. I only allow myself to remember moments, to keep me on my toes, keep me thinking. I remember calling out sick the next day, because I was, and having to stop every five feet to heave and cry. I remember throwing up every morning, and crying every. damn. day. For six months. SIX MONTHS. God, what a waste of time.

I also remember the first phone calls I made, to my sister, to my best friends, and how they instantly lifted me up, and made me remember why we were in each other’s lives to begin with. I remember friends coming to sit with me, sisters taking me out on the town, peeing in parking garages, and finally allowing myself to laugh until I was sick. Slowly but surely, I came out of that mess.

I’m writing all this down, because I feel like it’s important to share the real ugly underbelly of life here too. You never know who’s trollin the nets, and needs to see that it happens to everyone, everywhere. Whatever it is, wherever you are, it does get better, every single day. One day you will decide you’ve had enough of the darkness and you’ll do something brave. You’ll step outside and let the light hit your face, you will go out to an innocent dinner with someone and meet the most amazing people in the world. Life changes in an instant, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I’m glad the bad came first.

I’m enjoying feeling beautiful in his eyes, and sleeping so close and tight that our eyelashes weave into each other. To think, I almost didn’t give him a chance, because I “wasn’t ready.”

To think I almost didn’t apply because I didn’t think I was qualified.

To think, to think, I thought, “I can’t do this by myself.”

Oh honey, you don’t know what you’re capable of, trust me.

Shine on.

No Heat Curl, The Redux

2011-07-29T12:18:00.000-04:00

So, I've been fiddlin with this no-heat curl method, and I'm getting close to a breakthrough. For starters, I made this spray from river water, lemons, and rosemary that I apply first (more on that later). I don't know about you, but my hair looks bangarang after a day at the beach, so I did some fancy math (read: none) and threw a bunch of shit in a pot, boiled, strained it, then sprayed it on my wig.

Shit works. Legitly.

Then, I upped the stakes and started using a bandannie. WAY more comfortable, and the hair actually stays put more through the night. Also, before wrapping, twist each section of hair up all ringlet-like, THEN start the weaving process. When you're finished, take a bunch of embarassing pictures, put them on the internet, and call it a day.

Super dooper. You're a winner.

NOW we're talkin.

Always gettin in on muh action. Poser.

Again, protecting the innocent from my morning mug.

Why yes, that IS a Hooters shirt. You mad?!

More clear representation of the "Reverse Ombre"...you're welcome.

Finesse a little...

BOOM. Rockin it.

For funsies, a lil Dubs hair-did action.

He thought he was SO money.

He is.

New Look!

2011-07-29T11:41:00.003-04:00

so......
Read more »

Totally Realistic Expectations of a Haircut

2011-07-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

So James inspired me to go get my hair professionally did. Now, I haven't gone yet but there is an appointment on the horizon. Next Tuesday to be specific. My hair needs it, and not just a lame-o trim, it needs LOVE. Last time I went I asked for layers and bangs and came back looking exactly the damn same. This is not the fault of my stylist, it is the fault of me being a complete and total wuss and making faces in the mirror every time she cut a hair. She played it safe, can't blame her for that.

I've decided to really do it this time, cut, color, the works. See, what had happened was, I dyed the gray out last winter with a REALLY dark shade of black, I think it was Feria "C07 Raven's Asshole." I could be wrong, but I usually got a memory like a steel trap, so...Anywho, shit turned out dark. I mean, like, real dark, like, THE INSIDE OF A RAVEN'S ASSHOLE DARK.

Ha.

Then (double ha) I came up with the bright idea of buying a very light brown dye and throwing that on in hopes that my hair would magically go back to some normal-ish color. I am now the proud recipient of the first "Reverse Ombre." Sounds naughty. Light brown on top, jet black on bottom. I've tried to capture this phe-nom via camera phone, but the stars just aren't lining up today. Against my hopes and dreams, I'm going to have to get my ends stripped, and then the whole shebang dyed again to make all this nonsense right. It's time I said goodbye to box dye, just not worth the trouble.

So, I figured while I was in there I might as well take a leap of faith and get an actual hairstyle. Here are my thoughts:

Now, I know these hookers have longer locks than I do right now, but I assure you, this shit grows like a weed. A year ago (and some change) the shit was up to my chin and I've had it cut several times since. Also, since the discovery of the no-heat curl method, I've been able to achieve that effortless (bullshit) beachy wavy look whenever I want. My focus here is the aggressive layers. None of this one-layer-let-me-see-if-i-like-it-bullshit. Also? I think I'm going to try my luck with bangs again. Particularly those of my hair-icon:

I mean, srsly?! I could go on and on about those things. They are the bangs of DREAMZ. Other bangs see these beautiful sonsabitches and they be like, "I'm just gonna fall out, I don't even deserve this face. I CAN'T FRAME SHIT. I'M NOT WORTHY!"

Or something like that.

So, being the Photoshop GEnius that I am, I took the liberty of superimposing Ms. Cuteypants AwesomeFace's bangs onto my grill-piece.

HOLYFUCKINGSHIT get back! It's like we're friggin twin-sies or something. AMIRIGHT?!

Now granted, I've inadvertently given myself a bit of a butt-cut, but I can kind of see it, right? RIGHT?!

Internet, lend me your ears. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Oh, and I'm going for a deep chocolate brown for the final color, which is what my hair looks like naturally when I don't buy box dye from Mistress Morgana's Goth Pit.

xoxo

Flashback Friday

2011-07-22T15:35:00.000-04:00

Because apparently, I like to torture myself...

Oh sweet, sweet mercy...

Mamas don't let your babies.....GROW UP. The time, make it stop please!

WW - The Skipper

2011-07-20T12:00:00.001-04:00

NBD, just taking the 'ol Minnow out for a cruise.

Fourth

2011-07-18T08:23:00.001-04:00

Haha, like how I did that? Snuck in my 4th of July post like, 2 weeks later. That's why I'm here people...to confuse AND disregard all sense of time. You're welcome.

It was a perfect night, and Dubs absolutely LOVED the fireworks! I didn't get any pictures of the actual fireworks, but our neighbor brought him a giant sparkler, seriously it took like, five minutes for this thing to burn out.

ha! look at LP's face! LOVE THIS PICTURE.

My boys. <3

Testing

2011-07-15T12:05:00.002-04:00

Reworking and testing out some new things. I need to freshen this joint up and get motivated.

MORE....after the jump! hehehhehe

Read more »

Friday Love

2011-07-15T11:00:00.001-04:00

If I've been slacking here, direct your hate darts at Pinterest. That is one addictive mother. I could literally spend an entire day clicking and pinning and OHMYGAWD'ing at shit over there. Come, join me.

There are things I want in my dream home:

source

Things to nom the hell out of:

source

Pretty little things that I need in my life:

source

And just plain nonsense:

source

I mean, seriously? I died. TWICE.

So there it is, 2 posts in one week. Watch out world. Have a great weekend, get some. No, seriously, GET SOME.

*oh, and follow me on Pinterest. duh.

Bandwagon and Such

2011-07-14T21:30:00.003-04:00

So everyone and their G-D grandma is doing this no-heat curl thing. Chelsey and Jess are my official inspiration, and I'm pretty sure I've got The Grumblies on this crazy train too. So without further a doodoo...

Hold up. Let me preface this little adventure with some fun facts. First off, I am hair-tarded. I wear my mop up in a shit-knot with a pencil every. damn. day. EVERY DAY. I also have stick-straight, horse hair. Shit won't hold a curl for nothin, so I'm stoked large to try this and see if I get results. Straight up, I got a perm when I was 6, and the SHIT FELL OUT. Like, the next day.

Moving on.

So I washed my hair first because I think I was on like day 3 or 4 of, "being ~~a dirtball~~ green." I also threw a little mousse in there which I bought FOUR YEARS AGO because it smelled good and the stylist talked me into it.

I then blow-dried (blew-dried, blewn? what teh fack.) my hair for the first time in 2011, leading to a sense of extreme accomplishment. Again, I do not-a-thing to my hair, ever.

Oh come on, you knew this one was coming

Then I picked a comfy headband to do the do...

BAHAHahahahahm I kid.

Boom, like so.

Then I took a strand at a time, and rolled it under, just like the directions said.

At this point, I'm already doubting the process, HOW is this going to work?

You just keep folding and folding until it's all under. Gotta be honest, kind of digging this look, very, "Game of Thrones-ish."

Ta-Da! All folded and Maid Marioned up.

I swear to the little baby Jesus, if this shit works, I will do this every damn day for the rest of my life. I LUST after wavy locks. I am also extremely curious to see how Grumblies hair turns out. I don't know how many of you know this, but she has magical unicorn hair, shit always looks good. ALWAYS. Buh-leev dat. I've seen that hooker first thing in the morning, AND the last thing at night. F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S.

There should be a link-up for this shit, but that's beyond the realm of my ability. Link-up administration = the thing of robots. Next up, the sock bun curl. Let's do this shit, Internet.

*UPDATE* Good God, make sure you have a comfy headband, I can see how this would suck if you don't. Also, I'm doubting my placement of the headband in the back...I think it should have been more level, higher up on the back of my head. Whatever. Big reveal 'morrow mornin. Hold yer shorts, this is liable to be a barn burner.

**UPDATE, PART DEUX** Okay, so it "worked." I think if I tweaked my technique I wouldn't end up with Texas-big hair, but as the day has gone on, it's relaxed a little.

first thing in the morning. face hidden on purpose. not tryin to Medusa anyone on a Friday.

Boom. End result. I like it, but I wanna take a swing at the sock bun technique before I start getting all huffy.

Wordless Wednesday: My Boy

2011-07-13T10:46:00.000-04:00

Currently trying to harness this joy like lightning bugs in a jar...

Because I'm Lame...

2011-06-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

What do you love?

Not entirely sure why I wrote it out...just had it on the brain I reckon.

Just Because

2011-06-29T22:18:00.001-04:00

Wave photo source

Because it's summer. Because I want to be in that tube with bro-dude above...

I am such a slacker. I tweeted recently that when I’m at work all I want to do is blog, and when I’m home all I want to do is not blog. Cable will be the death of me. Those damn Housewives need to go on n git somewheres.

I have full intentions of doing a new home tour, and an update on some new projects, but life is pretty
full these days. I’ve been cooking a lot too, and may start sharing recipes I really love in a special section. I bought the daggone domain, and now I’m not doing anything with it. Trust me, I’m disappointed in myself too. For now, here are some things I’m crushing on/getting smiles from. Enjoy!

Silly me and my relocating. If I was still in Bodymore, Murdaland I would SO have attended this (possibly as a vendor). For whatever reason, I still don’t feel “show-worthy.” Will this ever change?

I am making a buttload of these this weekend. A BUTTLOAD. Beans, beans, good for the heart…

Have you all seen this? No? Get thee there.

Truer words ain’t never been wroten, written? Whatever, read it.

I’m not sure if I’ve shared this lady’s beautiful site with you but it has quickly become my most favorite blog to ooh and ahh over. Take your time with this one, you’ll be deep in the archives before you know it.

Yes please. Now. On muh finger. Right here.

Speaking of Pinterest, I’m _biscuit_ and we should be friends. I was all about throwing hate darts at Pinterest, but then it started playing nice and now it’s TAKING OVER MY LIFE. Get some.

WW

2011-06-22T09:13:00.003-04:00

Dude's quite the angler (yes he really caught these, at the same time)

Saturday Pancake Spectacular

2011-06-19T10:01:00.000-04:00

happy.

Showtime

2011-06-16T17:49:00.000-04:00

Do not fall for this cuteness.

Just, don't.

Lately, dude-bro has been giving me bloody hell at bedtime, and I come here to you, my people, for advice.

He won't sleep, doesn't want to sleep, SCREAMS for hours, pounds on my door, hurts himself, and quite literally drives me to the very edge of insanity until he passes out from sheer exhaustion.

Where did my sweet boy go? Please package him up and overnight him if you've got him. We miss that lil booger round these parts.

Last night I literally had to barricade him in his room, shut a door that's never been shut, and wait out the screaming until he finally succumbed to sleep. Sweet sleep. He doesn't seem to be scared of anything, and we do have a routine, albeit a loose one. We lay together, I rub his back, read stories, talk about his day, then a kiss and I leave. Up until a week ago, that worked. Now? Uh, notsomuch.

So, experienced mamas--what do I do? Any magical tricks?

Send Xanax, or vodka...dealer's choice.

Big time fun...

2011-06-15T15:03:00.002-04:00

Well Herro Der....

2011-06-06T18:50:00.000-04:00

So I turd you not...I'm totes sitting on MY COUCH right now, drinking a beer, blogging to you on the real live, INTRYNETS. Get this...shit's wireless too.

Wireless.
Without wires.

That's some outer space shit right there.

I know it's been a while, and I'm tempted to do the ol "tap-tap is anyone out there move" right now. I hope y'all are still there. Reery I do.

Alright on to it. I finally got the motherjammin internet up in this piece. I've relocated, I've started my new job, life is steadily lumbering on. Yadda yadda. I've been keeping a little list of the things I wanted to share once I got back in the sweet loving arms of the 3W (that's the world wide web for those of you that are a little slow on the uptake) but now that I'm sitting here, a click-clicking away on a real keyboard and not my phone--well I don't rightly know if the stories will have the same effect. So, I'm going to hit you with an update, bullet-style.

So I got sick as soon as I moved home, and combine that with the worst season of allergies yet, I was a wreck. NO breathing through any face-hole. It was a glorious sight. Anypoop, I wanted to go out, walk around, see the people. I was at my sister's house and inquired about some meds, you know, for the effort. So she told me to fish the last DayQuil out of the box, swill it back with a beer, and get my ass on the streets. About, oh, I'd say a cool 15 minutes into our walk downtown I started to feel "weird." I felt like I was walking in peanut butter, and the thought crossed my mind to pull Dubs out of his stroller, get in there myself, and make my sister push us both. I flashed back to the DayQuil box, the bright orange packaging, the DARK GREEN PILLS I PULLED OUT. OH MY GOD I TOOK NYQUIL. I TOOK FRIGGING NYQUIL AT 5 PM. Seriously, who keeps NyQuil in a DayQuil box? WHO?! NyQuil reach-around aside...that was one hell of a buzz. I implore you all to slam some and then down a bloody mary. Fighting sweet, intoxicating sleep WHILE getting tossed? Priceless.
The L-bomb's been dropped. Boom.
Being at home, close to my family is more amazing than I could ever explain. Support? Got that shit. Got it large, son.
Dubs is growing in GIGANTIC LEAPS AND MAN-BOUNDS. He came up to me the other day and said, "Mommy, you my best fwend." Balls. If his next sentence had been, "now gimme the car keys you old goat," he would be pimpin a PRETTY sweet 2005 Honda right about now.
Go ahead and pay for the monthly insurance on your phone. Don't ask me how I know, but it sucks turds when your $500 phone decides to go for a little swim. Once you go smart-touchscreen-awesome-phone...you just don't rock a blackberry with ease anymore. I had to use that goddam rickety-cricket piece of shit for a week before I realized insurance covered water damage. Read the fine print. Derp.
Also acquired myself some cable. HOO-boy, who are these Housewives?! Mind=blown. I seriously cannot stop watching horrible tv now. Housewives, Mob Wives, Basketball Wives, GYPSIES. There is a whole entire series based on modern-day gypsies, did you know this? Well get in the boat mothereffs, that shit's hilare.

Alright, that about does it. I'm ramping up efforts in the ol Velveteen shop again too. I'm lined up for a Showcase in September and got an offer from a local store to sell my bands in there too. Woot.

Hopefully I'll be checking in sooner than later.

It's Britney bitch,

Biscuit

this is just a test

2011-05-25T10:52:00.001-04:00

I will have internet Saturday. That day can't come soon enough. I miss you guys. Reader over capacity.

Beep. Bop. Boop.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

2011-05-19T09:01:00.001-04:00

Alive and loving life.

Be back soon.

WW - Snapshot of My World

2011-05-04T12:13:00.000-04:00

sleeping boy denies your wake-up request. go make pancakes woman.

all pro. yeah baby.

what happens when you leave your cheese unattended. cute rats around here.

what's sad is, I still have enough shit UNpacked to live off of.

kill me now.

Weekend Scenes

2011-05-02T09:24:00.000-04:00

At some point this weekend, I tweeted (gasp, I know, "weekend tweeting", for shame!) that I had driven by a couple of kids wrestling in their homemade mud pit. Y'all, this wasn't just a muddy patch in the yard, this was a roped-off, planned event. I shit you not, they had a ref out there...with a whistle.

It's scenes like this that I have missed about being "back home." I come from a very small island, which is about 25 miles outside of an equally small town. Although, Jay-Z did hang out there slinging when I was in high school, but I ain't one to gossip so you didn't hear that from me.

This guy may or may not be in cahoots with Jay-Z. I swear to you, this is the pimp'n-est car I have ever seen. But what's up? Is he like, *sponsored* by Doritos or something? Just has a sincere passion for them? I'm hoping to catch this guy at the grocery store one day and pick his brain. I'm sure he's totally approachable, totally.

All weekend, Dubs and I tooled about his new home, and my old one. He's only known the city we live in now (Baltimore), he was born here. Where we are going is someone else's home, a place we visit every weekend, funny that he doesn't understand it's Mommy's home, and the place he spent the first 3 months of his life. I drove past our new house, and told him, "look, that's Mommy and Dubs NEW house, isn't it cool? Look at the yard!" He just stared out the window and repeatedly mouthed the words, "new house" over and over again. We went to his new sitters house, and in the car on the way back he kept saying, "Dubs have NEW BUDDIES!" He seems excited, I hope he transitions well. He's like me though, makes everything into an adventure, so I try not to worry. It might have helped that we stumbled upon these guys:

UM?! MINI HORSES?! OF COURSE I WILL MOVE HERE MOM. NO BRAINER.

All in all, it was a great weekend, and even though I had some fleeting moments of panic, mainly centered around my Saturday afternoon WalMart visit, I'm ready to move on and get this new chapter started. Must remember to do all my shopping at the Target in the next town over though...Hometown Walmart...*shudders*. My decision to move was solidified when my Aunties called me at 10:30 on Saturday morning, already on a country ride. They were sitting in my driveway honking the horn, waiting for me to come out. Unbeknownst to them, I was in my Dad's car, headed into town, and I had passed their crazy asses on the road not 10 minutes prior. Yeah, moving is going to be a good thing.

Speaking of Dear Ol Dad...he told me he cleaned his car out, but I still found some random gems in the back:

this guy was sitting shotgun, he had "HOMELAND SECURITY" written down one side of it. My father lives in a constant state of readiness for riots, apocalypse, carjackings, and streetfights.

this was just randomly sitting in the back seat. Just this guy. A loner.

And you know, in case you can't reel in dinner with the aforepictured decoy, here's a random animal trap should you find yourself starving after fighting off a zombie apocalypse with a softball bat.

You're all very welcome. I'll cap this off with a Bruce-ism. It's been a while:

Scene: Breakfast table, discussion surrounding a recent family friend's adoption...

me: I hear they adopted a little boy from Japan, that's so awesome, so happy!

Dad: they adopted a ninja. smart move.

Wordless Wednesday - Weekend Highlight Edition

2011-04-27T14:30:00.000-04:00

seriously got into hunting eggs

what's in there ma?

JELLO! (adult eggs had jello shooters in them. be jealous.)

so sleepy, fell out mid-fry.

Got. To. Let. It. Shooooow.

2011-04-26T10:10:00.001-04:00

I can’t express how easy it is to let the sweet moments of life pass you by.

I’ve yet to have a birthday party for my kid. He’s 2.

Just saying it out loud makes me nauseous, but in my defense – his birthday is right after Christmas, it’s just too much. We’ve done the cake, and the singing, but no lil bro-dude party has happened. No moon bounces or games. I suck.

Last year, I don’t think I got him an Easter basket, I just jumped on the one my parents got him. Sad.

When I found out I was going to be a mom, I always imagined the themed birthday parties, staying up late and playing Santa, family photos…A lot of that has yet to happen. I’ve been in a hole, and I’ve cheated my kid out of a lot of cool memories. I guess, in my defense, that I thought he was too little to care, and I was too sad to make pretend he did.

This year, daggone it, that damn rabbit got his ass in gear and dropped my boy off a shweet surprise.

E.B. left a trail of peeps...

leading down the hall....

and out the door...

pit-stop for a peep snack

what is it Dubs?!

with a little help from LP, he realized there was more to it...

gator!

coloring books, and army men, and GUMMIES, and a bug box!

sweet, sweet gummies. a good first crack at being E.B. (much thanks to my LP:))

Also? This year, I'm throwing the kid a Half Birthday Party during the summer. Complete with a pool, lil bro-dudes, games, and a cake with his name on it. Done. It's a new era. Cue Diana Ross, "I'm Coming Out".

Um.....Happy Friday?

2011-04-22T09:02:00.003-04:00

3 Toed Sloth, a photo by AmazonExpeditions on Flickr.

"Hey y'all, got a little invite I'd like to extend your way...."

This guy is messing me up. I can't handle animals looking at me like this. In my head he sounds like Bruce from Family Guy.

We Go A Moo-Meeng

2011-04-21T11:31:00.000-04:00

The weather finally broke yesterday. It was an undeniable "Spring" day, and I pulled the jogger out and took full advantage of the non-crap, sunny, borderline HOT afternoon. I recently scored a suh-weet jogger on Craigslist, and so far it's seen one trip to the playground, and then to the ice cream shop - completely defeating the purpose of jogging in the first place.

Dude loves the new stroller. I think he likes the speed, and the wind, and it's a super smooth ride too. We stopped here and there to pick dandelions, and some other purple and blue flowers that looked like bells? Anyone know what they are?

As crazy as life has been for us in this place so far away from home, I will miss this neighborhood and it's quiet streets. There are a lot of little cottage-like houses tucked into little nests of trees and ivy.

The squirrels will be missed as well, do you see him up there? They are almost tame because there are no rednecks in these-here parts, shooting at them with pellet guns. The squirrels where we are going are different. They are rogue beasts with their little heads on swivels. Cunning thieves. Creatures of the night.

I will not miss seeing those danged apartments in the background of every outdoor shot I take. Where we are going, we have our own yard. Shew, I get a little misty just thinking about it.

you can't see, but it's packed with dandelions

Instead of this tiny little balcony, we will have a whole porch on the first floor of a Victorian home. A WHOLE PORCH. I've already imagined dinners on that porch, and plants, and sitting on the stoop waiting for trick-or-treaters. They don't trick or treat in this neighborhood.

I've started to explain that pretty soon, we'll be putting everything we have in boxes, and putting those boxes in trucks. Shockingly, he only hears TRUCKS in that sentence. "A moo-meeng twucks Mommy? We go a moo-meeng TWUCKS MOMMY???"

Yeah baby-love, we go a moo-meeng twucks. We go.

Wordless Wednesday - The Blah Blah Blah Edition

2011-04-20T13:40:00.000-04:00

pinkies up mothereffs. always. also? I SEE V-TEEN!

um, yes.

surprisingly smooth, although i totally bought it based on the chest-bumping pigs. duh.

SOMEbody got into mama's "disguise box"

what? you DON'T have a disguise box?! you're not living.

via Black Milk

um, so I *may* have changed my tune on the whole one-piece issue. i mean....

Just Some Things

2011-04-18T13:39:00.001-04:00

In the spirit of sharing a little insight to my creative mind, I thought I would share a very random sampling of some of the things I favorite/save/hide away on a daily basis, and why. So, shall we?

I want THIS couch:

via anthro

Like, immediately, in a really bad way. There isn't a single thing I don't like about it, from the color, to the nifty little peg-legs, right on down to how I imagine it sounds when you sit on it, "frrruuuuUUP" or something like that.

I've never understood people who WANT to wear glasses, like, because they think it's cute and stuff. I've worn glasses since 5th grade, and cannot wear contacts. This spectacled life sucks. So why, Hip Cats of the World, do you not only wear "fashion" glasses, but wear these guys:

via modcloth

I had a sweet Sally Jesse Raphael joke lined up here, but then I realized how badly that would date me.
Here's another lil fee-nom I'm not buying into, well at least not THIS version of it:

via anthro

Hi, um, I'm like...32 and shit. Yeeeeeeah. While I can get behind the whole one-piece revolution for a number of reasons, I don't think I'm ever going to be comfortable seeing a grown woman rocking a onesie with seahorses on it. That is, unless you're down with getting picked up by dudes who cruise elementary school parking lots in conversion vans loaded with old man candy.

This, via Delphine Ephemera, just made me smile and do a little fist-pump in agreement:

So, so true.

Then, this:

via pinterest

Man. that's just, uh something else. This reminds me of the tattoo I have on my ribs, I'm kind of obsessed with birds. I think it's the whole "flying free" thing.

While we're on the whole tattoo kick:

via pinterest

Perfection, I'm inspired.

You know what doesn't inspire me though? PINTEREST EATING MY SOUL BY NOT LETTING ME PLAY! That daggone site has YET to work for me, save my pins, NOTHING. Still a good place to find pretty things. Arrrggghhh! Maybe one day. Anyone else have this issue? I fear for a resolution as I can definitely see Pinterest taking over my life, seriously.

What are you guys filling your brain-holes up with these days?

NEVER GIVE UP

2011-04-18T10:10:00.002-04:00

and vice versa

Shop News

2011-04-15T08:57:00.001-04:00

So in light of recent NEWS, I am going to have to put the shop on vacation for a bit and a piece. I need some free time to pack, and line up all these little ducks I just sent scattering across the room. Thank you all so much for the well wishes, congrats, and hell yeahs! yesterday. I'm mentally high-5ing all of you right now.

"Up top"

NOT TO WORRY - I'll be back in June, and hopefully with some of the new things I have been working on! That said, if you want to get your Velvet on, head over to the shop now because when they are gone, they are GONE! I won't be renewing any listings until after my Etsy holiday.

Also, I enabled the "request a custom item" feature, so feel free to click away. As an added bonus, if you order this week before the shop lights go off for a spell, use the code FRIZZLESHIZZLE to get free shipping on your order! You have until next Friday!

See, What Had Happened Was....

2011-04-08T15:35:00.001-04:00

Flip flop, FLip FLOP!

Sorry about that y'all, really. If you're supes-astute you'll notice that you are now on

IHEARTVELVETEEN.COM

Yeah dog, I gots me very own URL now. How you like them apples?

Basically, for reasons known and unknown, I decided it was time to take this little patch of the interwebs in a different direction. My shop has really taken off, and I'm loving every minute of it. There's a lot more pressure now, but in a way it's forced me to focus, and dig deeper in the vault to crank out better stuff. Part of that new focus means getting away from my personal life here, and focusing on the creative side of my world. I want to "blog happy" and making/doing/being creative, makes me happy. Not to say that I won't write about The Wiz, or crazy adventures with my family, or my love for all things Loggins anymore. I know what you all come here for (also, I'm moving the older, more personal stuff to a hideout blog until I decide how to go about all this mess).

In the past few weeks I've been super-vague and cryptic, sending oddball tweets and posts out into the ether. I apologize for that. See, I've been up here in the Big City for 4 years now, and A lot has happened in those 4 years. Namely:

While he's made my life infinitely better, I have to say this is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do (as I can't say I'm actually doing it some days). What makes it harder is being away from everyone I/we love. My whole entire family lives 2 hours south of here, and while that might seem like a manageable distance...I am here to tell you that it is NOT. At least, it's not manageable for me, or my boy who never stops asking where his BooBoo (grandfather) is, or when he gets to ride his tractor he got for Christmas (that won't fit in our shitty little apartment). It's not manageable to never have any help, or have my support system too far away to make a difference sometimes. SOME days, you need a goddam hug. SOME days you just need your frigging Mommy. Yeah, I said it.

Since I found out I was pregnant, I have been desperately searching for a job closer to home. While I've had opportunities/offers, none of them really fit and I stuck to my guns to not only find a job back HOME, but a job that I would enjoy and grow in. A job that would keep me and my boy happy. If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and to be honest, Momma ain't been happy for a while and I think you all know that. Over the past 2+ years I've gone through more than I have in my entire lifetime, and believe me...I've gone through some shit. I've experienced real, raw, full-on depression, not just a spell of the "blues" or teenage melancholy. I went to therapy, went on medication, secluded myself from everyone and everything I love, all in an effort to protect other people from me, as opposed to just taking care of myself. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I realize I did it all wrong, dead wrong.

So, as discussed previously, I've been actively "seeking the happy" by doing things for ME. I've been stepping out with friends and family. I'm working tirelessly on my Etsy shop, and sewing almost every day. I've been making appearances at family functions, and not been the sadclown in the corner - for once. The biggest thing though? I've been looking for work, serious work, in the place that holds my heart...HOME. Every single time I go home, I can feel the weight lift off my bones, I hold my head high in the air sniffing at the breeze, smiling for no reason. I feel refreshed, I feel...ready. So about 2 weeks ago I went on an interview, back there, home...

My crypticity (Thanks Jon) of late has centered around how AMAZEBALLS my interview was, and how insanely anxious I was getting to hear back about the position. I was certain I had it, I nailed the interview, and I have a genuine, deep, palpable desire to get this job not just because of where it is, but because of what it is. This job was made for me, sincerely. I ran over every second of the interview in my head, what went wrong? Was there someone more amazeballs than me waiting in the wings? I was starting to look and feel like a really bad mugshot of Gary Busey after a week had passed and I hadn't heard anything.

So I called.

My heart was beating out of my chest. This was it, this was the life-changer. This decided whether or not I would be going home. Home to my folks, my sisters, my family, my boyfriend (still completely crazy to say/type). This. Was. It. IT.

You guys? I got it.

Everything changes now. Everything.

Lend A Hand...

2011-03-22T14:01:00.000-04:00

I am honored to be a part of this effort:

Jill over at The Chronicles of Corbin contacted me about a week ago asking if I would be interested in helping out with a giveaway that would send some funds to the relief efforts in Japan.

I didn't even blink. YES! Of COURSE! I never know what to do in times like these, so it's nice that my silly little crafts may actually be going towards a good greater than making your silly little heads even prettier! Go to Jill's blog for a little backstory and details on how you can participate in this awesome giveaway. I will be making a Charlotte for the cause, because it reminds me of Spring, and things blooming into new life:

So, get your butts over there, don't hesitate, don't hem and haw over making a tiny monetary donation...just do what you would want others to do for you, HELP!

The Gloved One Was A Poet

2011-03-21T09:46:00.001-04:00

You know the beginning of “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough” where Michael goes, “you, you make feel like…..OOOOOOhhhhhhh!”

DUH-nuh-neh-neh-neh-neh-nehnehnehneh NEH

Yeah. That man was a goddam poet. Whenever someone tries to get me to describe where my brain is right now, comments on the fact that I’m happy, or asks how “things” are…the only thing that comes to mind is:

OOOOOOhhhhhhh! DUH-nuh-neh-neh-neh-neh-nehnehnehneh NEH

And then I proceed to dance around the room. Wildly. Arms flailing. You get it.

That’s really all I wanted to say today. Sure there’s always room for improvement in life, but right now things are pretty, pretty uh….OOOOooooOOH!

(DUH-nuh-neh-neh-neh-neh-nehnehnehneh NEH)

Dubs says:

Thirdless Thursday - WHATEVER

2011-03-17T13:27:00.000-04:00

I been sick and shit, suck it. Here's some bangarang photos of some things I like/love/adore, in no particular order.

this MOMENT

this BOY

this GIFT

THAT friend

All of the Above

2011-03-14T10:38:00.000-04:00

I ran into some friends this weekend that I hadn’t seen in a while. (hey KATE!) They let me know, in no uncertain terms, that “hey assknob, we still read your blog, how about you go and post something interesting for shit’s sake?!”

Alright, fuck all, I hear you!

Something interesting to note…I apparently re-turned 21 this weekend as I drank everything that wasn’t nailed down. If memory serves me, someone actually had a pizza delivered to the bar in hopes that I would just eat a slice and take my shit down a notch. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself, ‘cuz whether they ordered that mother-b with me in mind or not, I sat my ass on a bench outside and ate the shit out of it. Shout out to Pizza Zia’s (or some shit), you took a chance and delivered a pizza to a street bench. Balls. I like your moxey, I’ll be back.

Yeah, Saturday was one of those nights where, going into it, you know that:

a. someone is going to barf
b. someone is going to get hurt
c. someone is going to embarrass themselves

Or in some people's case:

d. all of the motherfucking above

I don’t want to call anyone out too hard, but that shit was goddam entertaining, and let’s face it, every single one of us has been that girl that falls and just wants to lay there, middle of the street or not.

“just leave me, go without me”

Sunday morning, many promises were made to the Big Guy, in exchange for returned health, and smaller, less-swollen nuggets. I would totally do that shit all over again. BONUS: LP wore jeans! And Plaid! Shewwwwwwwwwwwww. This ol girl had to take a nap when that bearded, beautiful sonofabitch walked up looking like that. Trust me, as soon as I figure out what he’s doing with this ol goat, I’ll let y’all know cuz I’ll be goddamed if I can figure it out.

In other news, Jess over at IROCKSOWHAT is doing a Velveteen giveaway, and if you’ll look to the left I’ve also updated the shop look, complete with a new button! Go grab one for your page and spread the love!

Take it easy Greasy, it’s a long way to slide,

Biz-nasty

The Woman Behind The Velvet - AN INTERVIEW!

2011-03-10T13:51:00.001-05:00

Ok, so THIS happened today! Dudes, I answered the questions myself, and I was still pooping my pants when I saw this pop up in my feed today. So excited/honored to be interviewed and featured by such a good friend!

James is one of those people you meet, and if you're like me you're all, "oh there you are old friend!" From minute one, we just clicked. We're all parts bad attitude, foul-mouthed, crunchy, loving, sarcastic, and crazy. In short, we were fated to be friends. Thank you, Internet. Even better? In two short weeks she will be sitting ON MY COUCH with her little family doing all sorts of crazy shit, IN PERSON, again! We have grand plans to drink and eat everything not nailed down and possibly film something, for You, our possibly-adoring fans. Or not. You might just come here to point and laugh, I'm not sure anymore.

Anypoodle, head on over and check out the madness for yourself, there's even a juicy little Velveteen bonus if you make it to the end. As always, thanks for reading, and thanks for the support. I love the shit outta y'all.

xoxo,
Bizzle Bop Doodlie Scoots
(see what I did there? no? screw you.)

Wordless Wednesday - The Hat Edition

2011-03-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

Always with "the hat" these days...

My Pants, They About To Get Shat In

2011-03-03T10:44:00.000-05:00

Remember when I told y’all all that “one day at a time” bullshit I was going to attempt?

HAHahahHAAHAHAHahahaHAAHA! Woooooo. That was funny, I’m funny.

Since making that blanket statement, I’ve:

Started advertising my Esty on 2 different bangarang sites that generate more traffic than your mom on a Friday night (hi-YOOOOOOOOOO, ba-dump ching!) I also have feelers out for a few other of my favorite sites…I’m a dumbass.
Committed to helping a dear friend plan and create some aspects of her wedding, including the invite and some custom hairpieces. Her wedding, in July.
Committed, drunkenly (albeit excitedly), to helping coach a lacrosse team on Saturdays. Oh wait, no bigs, just Saturdays right? Ha, I do shit big y’all. THE TEAM IS ON THE EASTERN SHORE, 2 HOURS AWAY. AHAHahhahahHAHA! Had you thinking I did something sane right?! RIGHT?!
Throwing a baby shower for my bestie in a few weeks, which has turned into a “Welcome Home Baby” party, considering her little one wanted out early and staged a jailbreak.

I’m doing giveaways, helping a buddy refurbish a pram for photo shoots back home, designing a layout for my mom’s cookbook (she’s for’reals), taking awesome custom orders on Velveteen, and it’s all happening RIGHT NOW. That’s a shit ton of balls (*snort* heh heh, balls) in the air and my only hope is that I can keep them all up there. I’m excited, about everything, seriously. I haven’t felt this needed, useful, happy, ALIVE…in a very long time.

Cue Gloria Estefan’s early 90’s classic “Coming Out of the Dark” riiiiiiiight about now.

p.s. i totes had to photoshop a shirt over my weird dangly mom-boobs. waht teh fack was i thinking this morning?

Wordless Wednesday - The Happy

2011-03-02T08:03:00.000-05:00

to be honest, some days he's all I got, and thank goodness for that.

Bracing For Impact

2011-03-01T08:59:00.000-05:00

So it all started with my bestie The Grumbles. She said, "hey-a, I want to put an ad up on the blog for you, ok?" (we STILL need to do the hot seat MISS!)

Then Jess over at

was all, "hey, wanna be one of my very first blog sponsors?"

*gulp* Um, sure?

I'm NOT WORTHY, not of either of your blog pages, but there I am....just hanging out in the little sidebar. Jess just started doing ads today and I am in the company of some pretty kick ass people, so head on over and check it out.

If I need to tell you who The Grumbles is, I cry for you, Argentina.

Thank you both for the opportunity and the traffic, let's get craftin!

Happy Friday - GIVEAWAY WINNER!

2011-02-25T08:06:00.000-05:00

I was so excited to do this, I ALMOST woke up at 12 in the a.m. to go to Random.org and pick the winner. ALMOST, BUT GUESS WHAT?! I WAS TOO BUSY SLEEPING AND SHIT. YEAH, SLEEPING! Thank the little baby Jesus in his tuxedo shirt, Mama finally got some sleep!

So, without further a-dooooooo, the winner is:

* I know there are technically 40 comments, but 2 of them were smart-ass replies. I love my smart-asses, but their smart-assyness was not counted in the drawing!

Congratulations Coty! Poe will be on her way to you next week (if you've changed your mind since, just contact me and let me know which one you want!)

Thank you to everyone who participated, I plan on putting a few more lovelies in the shop next week and as an added bonus, for those of you that didn't win today, I'm offering 15% off any headband in the shop when you use the code FRESHVELVET at checkout! The code will only be good through next Friday, and I'm a cheap bitch, so get on that shit now!

Thank you, a million times over. Y'all are the wind beneath my wings.

Wordless Wednesday - The SHUT THE EFF UP EDITION

2011-02-23T12:00:00.005-05:00

No, seriously BISCUIT...shut the fuck up.

People, anxiety will eat you alive. Everyone deserves happy right? It does happen...right?!

Shop News, and a GIVEAWAY!

2011-02-21T09:42:00.001-05:00

I am so stoked to do this.

MY FIRST EVER GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!

Because it's Monday, because I updated the shop, and most importantly - BECAUSE I LOVE YA, I am doing a giveaway from my Etsy shop, Velveteen! What does the super lucky winner get? Well, none other than one of my NEW headbands - just released into the wild today!

Bonus? You get several chances to win, here's how it works:

leave a comment here, let me know which one you like best and why!
tweet it, then leave an additional comment with the link to your tweet!
mention this giveaway in your blog, then leave an additional comment with a link to your post!

SO IF YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION, that is 3 seperate ways to enter the giveaway! It's just my way of saying thanks to this little community of people that are endless sources of support and inspiration.

Now go, dammit, go and do work my minions. Winner will be chosen at random and announced Friday!

Wordless Wednesday - Took a Whole Lotta Cuh-LIMB-Innnnn

2011-02-16T12:00:00.004-05:00

Justa get up dat hill...

and then he enjoyed the view...

Wordless Wednesday - Come On Summer

2011-02-09T14:06:00.000-05:00

Because I can't take another minute of winter - snot freezing in my nose, tears streaming down my face from the bitter wind lapping at my eyeholes - I give you...

Summer; A Flashback

here comes the sun

note the glasses. the. glasses.

sisters....sisters...

late night hot-tubbin with Captain McSunburnt

this tree looks like a vagina, your argument is invalid

easily one of the best nights, like, evar

with the girls, 3 months pregnant...shhhhhh

not staged, just me and my mini

mmmpfh, no words

dear god, make me a bird.....

kayaks, sunshine, red stripe, ridiculous hats

he works hard for the money

Just Because

2011-02-07T09:59:00.000-05:00

Because it was a beautiful day, and I got a beautiful picture...

Grainy, but still beautiful. Who is this boy, and what the hell did he do with my baby? It's crazy, being able to see traces of who he's going to be, what he's going to be like.

Choking back tears now, marveling at how much love I have for him, and in my life because of him.

Little Boy, you have no idea how big of a deal you are.

Wordless Wednesday - Smoosh Edition

2011-02-02T14:27:00.000-05:00

no matter how far....

Eff, I Totes Blow at This Blogging Shit

2011-02-01T15:58:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a lot of walking here lately. Walking to the gym, walking to the park, and even walking along a beach. Yes, a beach, in January. It was divine, and I found a lot of sea glass while strolling with 2 fellas I really adore on a beautiful Sunday. The first piece I bent over to pick up was frosty white and the only letters I could make out were, "LUCK." I'm going to take that as a sign and wear that motherbitch around my neck until said luck runs out - hopefully when I'm 10-toes-up.

All the walking and what-not has definitely help boost my newfound love for treating my body right. I don't have a muffintop or a dunlap anymore. I feel, dare I say, *kind of* sexy. I'm going to break a cardinal rule of my own and tell you that there is indeed a special Someone in my life now who seconds that emotion. More on this later, but I'm here to tell you, Universe, you fuck this one up and I will go absolute OJ on that ass.

Big Dubs got hit with another earth-shattering upper respiratory funk that reduced him to a whiny, snotty, wheezing puddle. It amazes me how fast time flies and how much he changes in such a short period of time. Look at him up there, holding the tubing on his neb like he's a man. Owww-oooch, my baby, he hurts my old farty heart.

Despite The Funk of Aught-Eleven, I still got my boy to giggle and laugh uncontrollably. Missing days of work, and losing every spare minute of PTO I have doesn't smart as much when this little dude is keeping me on my toes and leaning in for random snuggles. Plus, it's kind of awesome to watch Days of Our Lives and Oprah when I should be at work ~~blogging~~ working and stuff.

Etsy is the devil. A money-sucking devil. You're looking at $25 worth of buttons there, and nothing has brought me more joy. Well, nothing except those FORTY DOLLAR PAIR OF SCISSORS I PURCHASED THE DAY BEFORE THESE BUTTONS. FOOORRRRTY DOLLLAARRRSSS.

Again, all worth it. The Velveteen has some new lovelies waiting to hit the shelf, and I'm so excited to share my latest projects with you. Hint: NOT headbands, but equally goddam adorable. Promise-skees.

To all my faithfuls, thanks for sticking around these days when all I can seem to dribble out is random phone dumps and blurbs about scissors. I'll circle back around, I always do. It's good to be busy....and happy ;)

xoxo,

Biscuit

Wordless Wednesday - Camera Dump Edition

2011-01-19T14:17:00.000-05:00

pancake date with Mama, he likes to "cheers" now. effing. adorable.

gettin muh clean on. holy upper lip curl. i think it's kind of a talent. no?

SWINGS! in 30 DEGREE WEATHER! these boys are lucky i like them.

what you will find if you leave a toddler to their own devices at bedtime...

Wordless Wednesday - The FUCK YOU NEIGHBORS Edition

2011-01-06T10:13:00.000-05:00

Oh heyyyy, so I like totally forgot to post ~~anything~~ something ~~this year~~ yesterday. Slipsies. Anywho, I'd like to present a series of pictures illustrating mine and The Wiz's reactions to being awoken once again by my asshole neighbor. UNlucky for her I've recently taken up the black magic and she's the object of all my practicing. Meet Black Magic:

heh

what. teh. FACK?!

oh this bitch just doesn't give up, Mom. Doesn't. Give. Up. I'm so shleepy.

fuckit. i sleep on yer head. ni-night.

Wordless Wednesday - Wordy Edition

2010-12-29T08:49:00.001-05:00

Oh good gravy have I neglected this blog lately. Sorry y'all, come holiday time I just get so whipped up in projects and family that I just don't have it in me to crank out a post. 2011 is our year though, Innernets. We're gonna take this mother over. I'm going to write like, all the time and shit. For now, you will have to deal with some pictures until I can get my ass in gear. Besides, there's no way I can't tell you about this:

OR how my whole entire family had a moment of silence and raised a glass to Tupac. True story, I think I saw my MomMom shed a tear.

p.s. I have a date Saturday. BOOM!

Wordless Wednesday - Merry Fucking Christmas

2010-12-22T12:59:00.000-05:00

fresh velvet!

he has such the life

bitch looks good don't it?

superhero convention

DO NOT get me started on this shit.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday - The Rando Edition

2010-12-15T12:40:00.000-05:00

You know it's bad when I don't even have time to edit my photos. This is a good busy though, I like it.

Dad's message on the inside of our deer stand

me. and. my. shaaaaaaaaaaadow.

I hope *you* like them!

damn i was skinny 2 years ago

Shop Check In

2010-12-14T14:23:00.000-05:00

Holy shit you guys.

If there were a phrase to sum up the opening of Velveteen, that there would be my horse. In total, I've received 11 orders, ELEVEN ORDERS, since I took V-teen to the streets. Of course, the nanosecond I hit "go" on Etsy and set that motherhumper loose on the world I was struck down by a horrible stomach virus and unable to move until Monday morning. So enjoying my teeny, little baby success....yeah, not in the stars this past weekend. However, NOW, oh hell yes I am hitting the 3W to say:

THANK YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL BITCHES. I LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. IF HALL AND OATES WERE HERE, THEY WOULD BREAK OUT INTO "YOU MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE" AND ANGELS WOULD SHIT GLITTERY FAIRY DUST ALL OVER THIS MOTHER. BUNNIES AND SQUIRRELS WOULD MATE, CREATING A HYBRID RACE OF BRAIN-SPLODING CUTE SQUINNIES WHO WOULD BE SHIPPED WITH EACH VELVETEEN PACKAGE, SWORN TO CUDDLE AND LOVE YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY. THAT'S WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THE UNIVERSE WAS MY BITCH, AND RIGHT NOW IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE IT IS.

After the holidays, I will be adding a bunch of stuff to the shop so make sure you check in. I will also be updating the Velveteen Twitter if you want to follow there for all the latest and greatest!

For'reals, thank you all, you have no idea what it means to me. None.

Big Announcement, HUGE...

2010-12-10T12:02:00.000-05:00

So, I've been quietly and dilligently working my fingers to the bone in the 'ol craft nook here lately. Beyond the normal compulsion to create, I've got another big project on my hands and I'm so glad to finally be able to share it with you!

Deep breath, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd go.

I'm opening up an Etsy shop!

I'm so excited I can barely stand myself, but I'm also terrified. What if nobody likes muh stuff, eh? Through a lot of pushing from various friends and bloggie cohorts, I decided to just go ahead and do the damn thing already. Right now it's just my headbands, and some small hairpins. I hope to expand it to some home decor upcycles and other items at some point, but for now I'm happy to come out swinging doing what I do best. I hope you enjoy, and if you have any suggestions or custom order ideas please feel free to contact me at:

You can also follow Velveteen on Twitter!

Thank you to everyone who helped/encouraged/held my hand as I stepped into this new adventure, I couldn't have done it without your support!

xoxo Biscuit

Wordless Wednesday - My Baby

2010-12-08T11:27:00.000-05:00

Screw this wordless shit, I need to elaborate on this:

How could I not?

You see, there are times, like when I took this picture, that I can still see my little baby. As much as I hate that gink in his mouth (his word, not mine), I like that it gives me a glimpse of what once was. I like that right in that moment, he stopped, and stared at Mama - not the camera - and let me take this picture. What once was a blob of a baby, is now most often a blur of a little boy, running past me at breakneck speed. I so badly want to grab his shoulders, demand he slow down, and stare at him and memorize every single little piece of him just as he is now. He won't slow down though, so all I have is pictures and the words I write down as they come.

Dear John, how can I possibly love him more every day? How does this work? I keep waiting for my heart to burst from the amount of love I have for him, but it's holding strong, maybe even growing.

:::PAUSE:::

Wordless Wednesday - The Heart-Clutching Edition

2010-12-01T08:47:00.000-05:00

why he gotta have hims little hand on there like that? WHY?!?!

hello lovah

if i need to explain this, you're dead to me

one little year ago.....

Young Wuv

2010-11-21T15:18:00.000-05:00

Moments later, she would take his hand and lead him around the yard...THEN PLANT A BIG OL KISS ON HIM. Mmpfh! These young girls are so wild these days.

It's a good thing she's so darlin, and from what I hear she comes with a hefty dowry, right Jeff? Might as well start plannin the nup'chuls now. MUAAHAHAhahahahahHAHA!

OMG, The Inspiration Runneth Over

2010-11-18T09:29:00.003-05:00

I have some intense shit "In Progress" right now, and here are some links that are distracting me and motivating me at the same time. Enjoy!

Balls. I absolutely must make this happen in my nook.
Just found Darling Octopus, and she's reading my mind with this one.
If only my hair was longer, so pretty!
Um, yes please? I think I've changed my mind about Maine, it's all about Oregon now.
A HUGE source of inspiration and encouragement for me lately. A friend, an artist, and a genius with fabric. (sidenote: she's self-taught. I know. Crazy)
Holy crap, another inspiring friend with endless patience for all my questions about starting up an online biz. Please go to her shop, her shit is AMAZEBALLS.
I'm trying my hand at this tonight, cross your fingers...
EXCELLENT link-list for fabric, woot!
I'm getting "new" living room furniture, and kicking the old futon out. What a good way to recycle the cushions!
Because not everyone is lucky enough to sleep in a blue race car. Good idea!
Also, HOLY SHIT THESE KIDS ARE CUTE. Their Dad is quite the photog too.

I'm loving NaBloPoMo, but I kind of wish it were over already - it's distracting having all these loose ideas floating around!

Wordless Wednesday - The "Pants Are For Suckers" Edition

2010-11-17T09:11:00.000-05:00

sweet jesus, that little butt......

Wordless Wednesday - Punkin Chunkin Edition

2010-11-10T10:55:00.000-05:00

really look at what's going on here....

Velveteen!

Guts

Just Some Saturday Thoughts

Firsts

Just Some Things

Meh

um, it's effing ON

WW - In My Absence

Damn Bumpus'

Halloween Sneak Peek

Fall Closeout

Recap

WW - Conversations With A Sister

Cold Weather Makes Me Wanna Do Some Shit

Friday Roundup

I'm Sorry

According To The Phone...

Because

WW - Anger Issues

WW - Snackin

Couch 2 5K

Watch Out World

WW - Weekend Extremes

Septemberous *UPDATED*

cringe and hit publish

Making Good

Gotta Have That Funk

Well Herro LOVAH!

WW - Busy Weekend

WW - Pinterest Edition

Because I Can

Links for Dinks

Teach A Man To Fish...

WW - We Do Stuff

Pinky Swear

No Heat Curl, The Redux

New Look!

Totally Realistic Expectations of a Haircut

Flashback Friday

WW - The Skipper

Fourth

Testing

Friday Love

Bandwagon and Such

Wordless Wednesday: My Boy

Because I'm Lame...

Just Because

WW

Saturday Pancake Spectacular

Showtime

Big time fun...

Well Herro Der....

this is just a test

WW - Snapshot of My World

Weekend Scenes

Wordless Wednesday - Weekend Highlight Edition

Got. To. Let. It. Shooooow.

Um.....Happy Friday?

We Go A Moo-Meeng

Wordless Wednesday - The Blah Blah Blah Edition

Just Some Things

NEVER GIVE UP

Shop News

See, What Had Happened Was....

Lend A Hand...

The Gloved One Was A Poet

Thirdless Thursday - WHATEVER

All of the Above

The Woman Behind The Velvet - AN INTERVIEW!

Wordless Wednesday - The Hat Edition

My Pants, They About To Get Shat In

Wordless Wednesday - The Happy

Bracing For Impact

Happy Friday - GIVEAWAY WINNER!

Wordless Wednesday - The SHUT THE EFF UP EDITION

Shop News, and a GIVEAWAY!

Wordless Wednesday - Took a Whole Lotta Cuh-LIMB-Innnnn

Wordless Wednesday - Come On Summer

Just Because

Wordless Wednesday - Smoosh Edition

Septemberous UPDATED